Serena Williams’ Game
Matters
So Serena Williams had a complete meltdown at the US Open
this past weekend and the reactions have been varied. What I haven’t seen is what I think is an
absolutely critical observation about what this episode says about society in
general and certain segments in particular.
If you haven’t seen it, look it up on Google. In the second set, Williams is assessed a “warning”
about being coached. I’m not a tennis
expert but apparently, it is against the rules to get any advice from your
coach during a professional match.
Williams was upset and had some words for the referee and then slammed
her racket onto the court, breaking it.
She was assessed another penalty for that. She then started berating the referee and
yelling at him that she doesn’t cheat and that her daughter watches and needs
to know she doesn’t cheat. She was apoplectic
and continued to argue her point with tears in her eyes but was also very
disrespectful to the referee. She was
then penalized one game which is stunning at this level.
I watched all this happen live. I was shocked. Maybe I don’t watch enough tennis, but this
kind of meltdown doesn’t happen at the top levels of any sport. Sure, some argue and I’ve seen baseball
managers get kicked out of a game for it, but the hysterics seemed way out of
line.
And then it struck me.
I was watching a microcosm of a much larger problem.
Let’s back up. When I
was a kid, John McEnroe used to have tantrums on the court. He would make a complete fool of himself when
protesting a call. He was disrespectful
and rude. I remember my dad talking to
me about it. He made it crystal clear that treating any authority figure like this was unacceptable. He didn't care if McEnroe was a top tier player and whether or not he was right was beside the point.
But the lesson doesn't stop with sports. I was raised to understand that one approaches authority figures differently than peers. People in authority have a job to do. Some do it better than others and some make fewer mistakes, but they are all human. When they make a bad call, confronting them publicly is never a good idea.
This is true not only of referees in sports, but also applies to teachers, bosses, coaches, judges and yes, police officers. Any of those people may accuse you of doing something wrong. They might do this because of a simple error, a bad perspective or even because they are actually bad people themselves and are doing something that could harm you. They might also be right and have a very good reason to penalize you.
So how does one react to being caught/corrected by any authority figure? Does it really matter if you are in the right or not? I don't think it does. If a person has a position that is responsible for enforcing rules, and you get accused of breaking a rule, you remain polite and professional and move on with life.
Let's look at what could have happened to Serena Williams if she had handled the initial warning differently. Imagine if she had approached the referee and calmly said, "I'll accept your warning, but I disagree. I don't want to get a penalty so would you mind letting me know what you saw so I make sure it doesn't happen again?" And then go about the game. No racket smashing... no crying... no yelling or making a scene. Respecting the referee's perspective would have made this a teachable moment in a very positive way for a lot of people.
So many in today's society think that any injustice requires immediate redress. It doesn't and demanding it can lead to a lot more problems than it could ever solve. Challenging an authority figure in public is to say that you don't recognize their authority. The moment that happens, that authority figure has to get control very quickly or chaos is coming very soon.
Let's take this out of the world of sports. Let's look at a traffic stop. My dad taught me how to handle that as well. I've been pulled over a number of times in my life and sometimes, it wasn't deserved. In each case, I was humble and apologetic. I knew that if I became confrontational, only bad things would result. Cops have a job to do and when they do it poorly, me pointing it out isn't going to improve my life. The only thing that will work when I was truly innocent was to remain calm and wait for my day in court. That lesson has served me well.
Serena Williams disappointed me. She had the chance to show young people how to deal with adversity in a constructive manner. She instead chose to be confrontational and then wrap herself in victim status. We are all supposed to feel sorry for her that a referee treated her differently than a man would have been. Whether that is true or not is beside the point.
The next time you see a video of young people in front of a cop, remember Serena Williams. Are they making the situation better or worse? Who taught them this behavior? Who told them it is acceptable to mouth off to authority? Who demonstrated that confrontation allows one to be wrapped in victimhood status?
It is all very disappointing to me.
